In a moving and startling revelation, Meghan Markle described approaching Prince Harry and the Royal Family and asking for help with lingering suicidal thoughts during her pregnancy, after months of bullying from the press and s be prohibited from leaving the house.
“I just didn’t want to be alive anymore,” she said. “And that was a very clear and real and scary constant thought. And I remember – I remember how he just rocked me.
Meghan said she later questioned a royal superior about the possibility of seeking inpatient care, and was told it would not be possible as “it would not be good for the institution”.
And that was it.
Meghan had returned her keys, driver’s license and passport upon joining the family. “I couldn’t, you know, call an Uber at the palace,” she says.
On one occasion in 2018, Meghan said, she attended an official event at the Royal Albert Hall against Harry’s advice because she feared what she might do if left alone. She was sobbing in the royal box of the concert hall, smiling and posing for photos when the lights were on.
Meghan described being frightened by thoughts “in the middle of the night that are very clear”, and said: “This is not an abstract idea. It’s methodical, and it’s not who I am.
Harry opened up about his own mental health issues, describing years of panic attacks in a 2017 interview with a podcast produced by The Telegraph. He has come “very close to total collapse many times, when all kinds of heartache and lies and misconceptions come to you from all angles,” he said.
In 2019, he and Oprah announced a documentary on “Mental Illness and Mental Well-being,” which will air on Apple TV + later this year.
Harry later said mental health played a key role in his decision to redefine his role in the family.
“It’s really sad that it got to this point, but I have to do something about my own sanity, my wife’s and Archie’s, because I could see where it was going,” he says.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.